Year One

The first year as a mom was a fairly typical year. I have been unbelievably lucky to have a super healthy baby. Once the first scare of waiting to see if Seth would be born with neo-natal lupus had passed, I was advised to watch him for unexplained rashes and otherwise he should be fine. During his first year he had an eye infection at three weeks from a clogged tear duct, one cold that winter, and one mild ear infection. He had all the major milestones, some early and some late, and time seemed to pass way too fast. He rolled over at four months, but waited until his first birthday to walk. He didn't bother with teeth until eleven months, but then he got four all at once. His motto in life seems to be, "go big or go home." He is everything you would expect from a rough and tumble, super busy boy. The day he took his first steps, he started to run. The day he said his first word, he said three. He jumped through seven sizes of clothes in one year! For a while it felt like he was growing an inch a week.
With every milestone reached I felt a sense of pride. As I would write the dates in his baby book and the pages started to fill, I started feeling a sense of loss. The year was going way too soon and we would never have these first moments again. My son was never much of a snuggler after he learned to move on his own power. I never knew how much I would miss having to hold him all day long. Instead of having to, now I was begging to be allowed to hold him. His first quiet words were gone and replace with loud babble occasionally peppered with those words, but now with confidence. His first giggle replaced with great big belly laughs and cheers. His first gummy smile only a memory, but followed by so many expressions showing a range of emotion. Finally at a year old I looked at my Seth and I found I no longer had a baby. Suddenly I was responsible for this tiny human with a very big personality of his own. He looked so grown up and that sense of peace that I felt when I had him was pulled out from under me. Knowing how to care for a baby was one thing, raising and nurturing a toddler is going to be a whole new game.