Pandemic Thoughts

Life has been difficult this past month. Something has happened like never before and my mind has been struggling to cope with the changes. I have found that along with an obvious increase in anxiety (which is most likely causing the other problems) I have also had an increase in sleep disturbances, headaches, fatigue, pain, a lack of motivation on most days, and some cognitive issues which are entirely new for me. Words, writing and reading have always been my strength and refuge but now I find myself struggling to find simple words, having difficulty expressing myself, and not being able to come up with names of people I see all the time. I have also had lapses in memory that are baffling to me. It's terrifying and a scary precursor to the possibilities of advancing age.
Another thing that is new in my life is a lack of ability to work. My doctor asked me to stop working until the peak of the pandemic has passed as I am high risk for complications and for contracting Covid-19 due to my condition and my job in retail. I have been thinking a lot about my friends and family in high risk jobs and how the media and general public are thinking about those people. Here is my humble opinion based on experience.
If you are in a medical field of any kind (nurse, doctor, first responder, dietary aid, housekeeping, etc.) you deserve to be lauded as a hero. You have chosen a difficult profession that often puts you in the line of fire, not just from the current pandemic. You put your health and safety on the line on a regular basis and you are amazing.
If you are in one of the other positions currently being thought of as essential (mainly retail workers and food service providers) while I respect your commitment to doing your jobs, I do not believe you are a hero for it. I believe that you are an unwilling sacrifice that the rest of the country is obviously willing to make. Not only is your life being given less value than others, but you are being expected to continue doing your job for wages that are not enough to allow you to live. I have read several posts about how after this is over people should continue showing you respect for what you have done and should be willing to give you a raise. But that will not happen because I have seen the lack of respect you are getting now outside of politicians lip service. These positions that are considered entry level, unskilled, minimum wage and "not real jobs" are being done by people who are taking the brunt of people's frustration over this entire pandemic when they are simply being told that despite their own fear they have to continue showing up every day and working so the people abusing them can continue to shop.
This country is stuck in a giant abusive relationship between the classes. The people stuck living in poverty, or possibly slightly above if they are lucky, are being abused and controlled by the people who hold all the wealth. It is a power dynamic that we judge people for having in relationships and seek to save the victim, yet the majority of the country is the victim and no one is willing to save to us. The entire system is designed to stop us from saving ourselves. The moment you do well enough to start catching up, they take away your safety net and let you fall back farther than where you started. Then they ask why you need the help and how come you were not successful. Umm...America? This country is no longer the land of opportunity where all your dreams can come true. This country is now the place where it's citizens are choosing death rather than accumulating more debt. A country where we give money to big corporations to help save jobs so that they can lay off most of their workers and horde the money in their executive positions. A country where we watch people die on the street rather than allow people to live in the tons of empty homes that no one can afford to buy. A country where we have to stop watching the news to protect our mental health because nothing good is ever happening. A country most people would leave...if only they could save enough money to have the chance.

Easter Craft

I found a picture of an egg wreath on facebook and decided to modify it into a version I could do with Seth. Materials include poster board, acrylic paints and brushes, hot glue gun, ribbon, painter's tape, and something to put under the workspace. I wrapped half a disposable table cloth from Dollar Tree around his high chair tray and tucked it under the legs to hold it in place. I also used a disposable tray for the paint. Pretty much all the items I use came from Dollar Tree except for the hot glue gun, making this a really inexpensive craft.

I started by printing off templates for the egg shape and the bunny from a simple google search, there are lots of options to choose from. I traced the egg shape onto the poster board and cut out twelve. I also glued the rabbit right onto the poster board and painted it after (please don't judge my art skills). I assumed that Seth would not manage to stay focused to do all twelve eggs himself so I only used the tape to put designs on six of them. To do that simply rip or cut pieces of tape and lay them flat in the design you want and when removed carefully after the paint dries it will leave a white space of your design. Seth's came out pretty good, but not exactly as intended since he did not want to cover his whole surface area on all of the eggs.

I then did simple designs on the remaining eggs to add more color to the wreath. Seth likes to mix his paint colors which tends to create some cool colors, but usually on the darker side rather than bright. I also painted the rabbit for the center of the wreath. Once everything was dry I arranged the eggs alternating between mine and Seth's and hot glued them together forming the wreath around the center bunny. I then attached a ribbon to hang it with and hung up the finished product!

Seth absolutely loves anytime I let him play with paint. Important notes for using acrylic paint with little ones: try to keep it out of their mouths, better to do it naked as clothes will get ruined, and it comes off the skin easily either with a bath or baby wipes.

Short Stop

Alas potty training has come to an end for now. We attempted to restart this morning and Seth was on board choosing his big boy underwear. After three trips to the potty interspersed with two pees on the floor and a flat refusal to sit on the potty, we have accepted that he is not ready and we are still in diaper land. 😕

Happy Birthday, Seth!

Happy birthday to our sweet little boy! It doesn’t seem possible that you are already two. This little boy has a mouth full of teeth, lives Paw Patrol, is learning more words by the day and starting to put on the ending sounds, and is working on potty training. Never forget our little mann that you are safe and you are loved. 💕💕

Potty Training Day 4.5 - Throwing in the Towel

Due to the extreme horror and difficulty of the current day, a time out has been called for potty training.
Yesterday was day three. Yesterday was a bad day all around,  not just for potty training. Yesterday included spitting, throwing, screaming, back talking and very little time on the potty. Carroll and I decided to call it a pass day and start this morning on day four using the training underwear instead of pull-ups. Here’s what I learned today:
Seth has almost all the required skills for potty training. He can pull down his pants, he can tell us when he needs to potty, and he can follow simple directions when he chooses to. Yet we had the morning from hell where it all seemed to go wrong. We start first thing with a trip to the potty and the only time we used the potty today. We talk about our big boy underwear and what will happen if he pees in it as well as what he needs to do. I repeatedly ask him if he needs to potty. Finally it’s almost nap time and we sit on the potty and Seth says he needs to pee. After five minutes of standing up, sitting down, playing with the flusher, and repeat he goes to nap time without peeing. Sure enough a half hour later he has peed his pants and does not like it. I clean him up, sit him on the potty again (still nothing), put fresh underwear on, talk again a out the potty, and put him back in a clean bed for his nap. He then says he has to poop. We repeat the bathroom dance with nothing ending up in the toilet again and Seth going back to bed. The adults do some housework while Seth isn’t underfoot and he is quiet. Twenty minutes later I go check on him and walk into a horrible, smelly scene. He pooped in his big boy underwear, smeared the poop down his legs removing the underwear, and spread the poop around his bed for good measure. After another clean up, involving a shower this time, Seth went back into a diaper for a few days. We decided the frustration level had outweighed the compliance level for the moment.
As a bonus we now know which skills Seth has on board and we will start off on better footing next week. Tor this week though, we surrender to the toddler.